What's really required of the pop artists we assume work to please us?
Not even the obnoxious couple on speakerphone, two tables over, bothered me. Not even the fact that I got my sweater in maple syrup, and worse that I couldn’t reach the place on my elbow to lick it. It’s my day on mental credit, and I’ll get there, or I’ll order more. * Days earlier, … Continue reading Days on Credit
I don't know how often I should use pop culture references to do the heavy lifting in a lot of these pieces. Sometimes the right reference elevates a would-be average joke. That said, when I read other writers and they make too frequent a use of them, it can seem lazy. Here's what it's like. … Continue reading Note About a Writing Fear
So I broke my mom’s back. I know. I fucked up. I wasn’t even looking. I didn’t see it, that thin little strip between blocks – “THAT’S AAAA CRRACK.” My friend yelled. - It was too late. I heard the fuggin snap from two streets away. Her home and garden magazine fell and that was … Continue reading Book Club is Cancelled
Trust, I don't want to burp here either, but this coffee is like coke, this cinnamon bun sits like a Pepto Bismol stone in my stomach, and I'm nervous. How long does it take to finish a short piece of humorous nonfiction? Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls: Essays, etc. rests on top of my slowly torrenting laptop with … Continue reading The Dark Side of Her Face
A Roots-hooded figure scuttles towards me over patches of glassy ice. I become more and more aware my nose is running. My nose is running. It runs into my moustache, rounds my cracked pink upper lip, and pours like a gauzy waterfall across my stupid pie hole – “Hey-what’s-up-man-how’s-it-haha-ha-ha!” I sputter out smoothly to the … Continue reading Roots-hooded Figure
I can’t sit straight in this stupidly rigid chair. Do the other passengers agree with me that because of it I look like Gollum? I am the crypt keeper. I am a hunched little devil man. I’m on a gorgeous flight back to Vancouver – just about over those gorgeous Rockies obscured by those just … Continue reading A Gorgeous Flight Home